Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
