I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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