Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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