We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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