morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
