Quick, to the slutcave!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
