The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
