New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
