Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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