In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
