you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
