I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
