Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
