I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize