remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
