Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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