And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize