I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
