Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
