I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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