I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
It's just like the Real World with babies
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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