I will die if light touches me.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
