i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
