Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
