Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I wear drunk well.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
