thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
