that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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