Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
