Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
