Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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