he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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