Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize