I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
