can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
