hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
two words...techno handjob
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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