I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
