I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
