I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it's like iHOP with fire
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
