also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
