You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
