PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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