She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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