quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
