Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
