we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
