i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
