"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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