Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
