i need an iv and a liver transplant
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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