it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
