Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Randomize
