ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
