You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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