Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
