I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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