i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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