so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
