Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
