dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
