haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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