My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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