does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
