I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
